The Straighteners

My flat iron is made by nazis, and i’m not kidding…and all that paraben-laden product. Chi, the most popular hair straightening tool and product manufacturer. Chi, the abbreviation of Christ. my heat protectant lotion is Jesus Juice. Christ to the rescue! Christ will save my heathen hair situation. it will set me straight, as in Christian. but also Chi as in Qi, as in life energy. straightening is akin to fueling or giving someone breath, the implication being that people with frazzled hair like me are the walking dead, or at least unbalanced (ya think?). i’m always aware that when i purchase my flat iron heat protectant or a smoothing gel, i’m contributing to some eugenicist’s kid’s college fund.