Spencer and I just went to Keyfood, and he said he wanted to stay out in the parking lot to take a few drags from his electric cigarette. I picked up some pickles and a defiled avocado and rushed to pay so that Spence wouldn’t be annoyed waiting as he is wont to be. On my way out, a girl who collects carts raced in and told the manager that a woman had just fallen and to call 911. The manager dialed frantically. I dashed out to help, and yet there wasn’t anyone in the parking lot but Spence, puffing on his stupid little vape. I asked if a woman had just fallen, and he said no, but that, coincidentally, he had just farted, and the fart sounded exactly like an elderly woman crying out while falling.